“When the wind blows over the grass, it always bends.” — Confucius
A girlfriend shared an article written by a woman who described how she dealt with her husband’s mid (late?) life crisis. She compared her husband’s hurtful words to those of a toddler throwing a tantrum, trying to get someone’s attention. Her approach? She opted not to engage. He said, “I don’t love you any more, and I’m not sure I ever did.” And then she said, “I don’t buy it.”
When I employ this technique in my own life, I describe it as emotional kung-fu, or maybe psychic tai kwan do. Perhaps aikido? (Man, I need to study up on my martial arts.)
It’s amazing the result that this has on people. Especially on those people who are used to being able to goad others on, to engage others in their drama. When they throw a swing, and you bend with the force of the blow, it throws them off. It baffles them.
I’m good at turning away from Kai’s four year old attempts to steer the mood of the house. I’m less used to tuning that out from others in my life. But the better I get… the better I get.
eleven bee 