Consider the Possibility

I had an “ah-ha” moment today.  The particulars aren’t important at all, but it was a such a relief to get to that point … finally.  Being open to considering the possibility — nay, the probability — that the problem was, after all, me, really did help to get to something of a resolution sooner rather than later.  It’s not a flip-the-switch-and-the-problem-is-solved kind of situation, but I’m fairly confident that I’m well on the path to recovery.

Switching gears for a moment — and I’ll circle back and make a connection in a paragraph or two — Colin came home from school today with a Thanksgiving card that he had made.  There’s a pop up turkey on the cover of the card, and on the inside, it says: Thank you Mom and Dad for cleaning my clothes.  Even my underwear.  And thanks for tucking me in and reading me stories at bedtime.  I love you, Mom.

There’s a conspicuous lack of symmetry to the card’s inscription.  Charley grumbled a bit about how the kids don’t appreciate him as much as they should, how they often seem to favor me.  (Colin explained that he ran out of time before he was able to finish writing the card, but that’s beside the point.)  In Charley’s mind, it’s a fluke.

Now let me go on the record here as saying that I think Charley is a great father, and that the boys really do love him… but there’s always room for improvement, right?  The thing is that if you always attribute undesireable results to factors outside of your control — a fluke of nature, the alignment of the stars, the stupidity or bad judgement of others — you sort of resign yourself to accepting the way things are.  And yes, some things truly are out of our control — God grant me the strength to change the things I can, accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference — but some things really aren’t.  Or at least they aren’t completely out of our control.

So back to the idea that I introduced in my opening paragraph.  Being open to the possibility that the problem might be me, as it turned out, was a good thing.  A humbling thing, but a good thing.  And, ultimately, a productive thing.

Gobble gobble.