who knows you well?

i have an interview question that i used to ask at almost every interview: pick someone who knows you well. who would that person be? if i were to invite that person in the room, and send you away, and then ask them to tell me about you, the good and the bad, what would they tell me about you?

i think it’s really interesting how people answer the question. it’s really just a variation of the “tell us a little bit about yourself” question, but with a few extra (bonus) pieces of information that can be gleaned. for starters, i like to reflect on who the person identifies as the person who knows them the best. your mother? your spouse? your business colleague. or no one at all?

for some people, the question really seems to throw them for a loop. that always makes me wonder. when someone responds with a version of “i don’t know… i’ve never really thought about it.” that gives me pause. the person who does not spend at least a little bit of time reflecting on how they are perceived by others – what’s that all about? maybe understandable in a younger person – doesn’t the world revolve around only us when we’re younger? but as one goes through life, that must change, right?

i’ve been asking this question for so long, but when i stopped this evening to contemplate how i would answer it, i realized i didn’t quite know how i’d even answer the first part. who knows me the best…? a lot of people know a lot of bits of me. but i’m not sure who knows all of me.

that’s a little sad, isn’t it?

i do spend time thinking about how others perceive me. so at least i get partial credit for efforts in self awareness…