it seems like maybe it’d be a little thing, setting a goal of writing for just a few minutes every day. but adding to that other little and not so little things that i attempt to program into my daily schedule and, well… eventually i slip up.
so maybe there’s something to this idea of allowing for a day of rest.
this past week it was a lot of traveling packed into a quick 3 day trip to california, and then the effort/energy that goes along with the whole reentry process, getting back into the swing of things. so it’s more like 5 days of discipline and 2 days of scrambling/recovering. that’s probably okay too.
yesterday was a little bit of a reminder of what it felt like all those many years ago when i was regularly dealing with the unpredictable behavior of someone i cared about. it wasn’t nearly as dramatic as it has been in the past, nor nearly as devastating but it was a reminder for sure. and i recognized that feeling so immediately. it was so familiar.
it made both sad to see that those demons are still there circling around someone i care for, and also somewhat relieved to see how removed i had managed to become over the years.
today it all kind of worked its way out. but, without going into the details, i’m a little concerned that the person who i still very much regard as family (and always will) may have some shitty days ahead of them, dealing with consequence of having taken care of things that just needed to get taken care of.
is there a term for vaguebooking in a blog post? vagueblogging? that’s what i’m doing tonight. and i apologize. but there it is.
eleven bee 