I find myself at an interesting kind of blogging crossroads. The problem with having a public blog that is really just a personal journal is that I run the risk of offending people I know.
On the one hand, I enjoy the idea that people I know get to keep up with me here, and I even like knowing that occasionally people I don’t know stop by to take a peek. But on the other hand, knowing that people I know read what I write here does give me pause when I want to write about the people in my life, or when I want to include something about myself that may make things awkward with those I know. I tend to over-share in real life but that’s mostly because my mouth often gets ahead of my brain and my self-editing skills don’t have a chance to kick in in time to save me from myself. And while I’m drawn to (almost) daily blogging precisely because it avoids a lot of the hard work of editing and re-editing a piece until it is just right, writing still allows for a little more refection than simply speaking off the top of my head. And so I occasionally find myself in a mild state of writing paralysis, where I want to write freely… and yet I feel hesitant to do so.
My thing is that I choose not to waste my energy hating — neither in real life, nor in the the things I write. That doesn’t mean that I’m living some contrived life of positivity. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite. I like to be around, and I like to write about, deliciously flawed people who interest me. Those are the people I care about.
I’m rambling, so let me wrap up with a preemptive, yet sincere, “Sorry” to anyone who might ever be offended by the things I write here, particularly if you think you might be reading about yourself one day. It kills me to think that I may hurt someone I care about — even if I haven’t done it yet. But the fear of doing so makes it astoundingly difficult to just be me here.
And with that… let the blogging continue.
image from: http://www.mikepaulblog.com/blog/
eleven bee 